some people choosed sacrifice...

This story is derived from the Japanese animation movie : Tokyo Godfathers.
Its about a bum, a transvestite and a runway teenage girl whose trying to return a baby they found in the dumpster back to her mother.
It was....touching as they all come together in the end and it changed their life forever.

There once a Red Devil who wants to make friends with people. But since he was a devil no one would want to go near him. So his friend the Blue Devil made a plan. He’d wreak havoc among the people and the Red Devil would save them.

Red Devil(gasping)       : “When you try to achieve something, someone’s bound to get hurt!”

Blue Devil(smiling)        : “You always have to sacrifice something”

The plan worked.

But the Blue Devil had to go away so that they’d never know it was a trick.

It was a sad story….

-From the movie Tokyo Godfathers(2003)-

i just thought about it after i scolded at my younger sister via FB due to her fashion interest and shopping that may cause my father's 'already-none' fortune.

Ramadhan Day 9

A lady moved her car to reverse while i was behind her car and holding hands with my son to send him to the nursery.
I started to wonder...did she not see us from her side mirror?...i don't get it. Probably never will.

Now...that may sound normal but...this is the same person who blocked my car from exiting the nursery the other day.

Hmm...maybe she have some problems...that i prefer to remain uneducated.

6 weeks : 45kg

I scaled my weight this morning.
...so im officially 45Kg.

My diet started on the 23rd June and today 8th August...approximately 6 weeks.
I guess now i can go back on my normal eating schedule that is 3 times a day meal and back to other junk food of my favorites.
And...all my clothes fits back on me ^_^.

But i guess i must resume on other habits such as :

• avoid 'second round'
• Eat dinner at 6:30pm 
• go to bed at 10pm
• Must have Fruits or veggies on daily intake..RIGOROUSLY.
• 2.5 @ 3 liter of water everyday
• Exercise @ jog at least once a week (Saturday)
• Do house chores continuously and avoid the 'couch potato' syndrome
• Take normal amount of 3 meals per day and avoid brunch and snack.
• still take the stairs to the office instead of the elevator.

But, momentarily since its Ramadhan that plan has to wait while i undergo the fasting season.
During these time, all i have to do is just watch my calorie intake while skipping exercise and dieting(i don't even have to ^_^).

Well let's hope i will remain 45kg for the rest of my life ^_^.

Ramadhan Day 4

I took the day off.

To look after my son, he was beginning to feel better, i bathed him with coconut water and...forced him to drink a full milk bottle of coconut water.

I feed him and put him to sleep...then watched the movie 'Inception'...

When at 4pm i started to feel menstrual cramps...'auww nooo...'

So i tried to lay down horizontal all the time...to keep away from gravity X_X...for only an hour or so huhu

At 5:30pm...i got my menses....ONE HOUR left T_T

Everyting happens for a reason ...

Ramadhan Day 3

Day started as usual until at 12 noon, my kids nursery owner called me.

With deep and serious tone she let me know that she suspected my son caught 'Chicken pox'..."he was running the high fever and couldn't sleep"...

Now i have bad memory of high fever when my daughter turned blue and almost pass out when she was 8 months old.

So i shut down my computer, get my permission and went to the nursery to pick my son and drive straight to the clinic...although actually i have brought my son to the same clinic the night before but it was not a clever diagnosis by the young doctor.

At noon time, fasting and a son with high fever the sun shows no mercy and my son was crying in discomfort and scratching his whole body.
I remember those words...the more tested you were the closer you are to God...so i ..prevail.
Long waiting in the clinic...turns out my son was only catching a bad case of heat rash or possible food allergy.

On the way home we stop over at the market to buy some coconut  to cool my son's body temperature.
Next stop is a supermarket to get him some fish and meat products.

I prevailed until 6:34.^_^

Ramadhan Day 2

I feel ashamed, angry, irritated, being treated unjustly, being mock and ridicule.

And suddenly i feel such lump in my throat...i thought im being helpful..clearly im not operating under this officer instead with another higher officer but...(well i spare you the details) this person is becoming demanded and oh so expressive in putting his point across.

Not to mention his ignorance on the barrier between a muslim women (Married some more!)with other man regardless muslim or non-muslim...knock my head TWICE...with a pen...totally ignorant!.

Its no surprises i felt lump in my throat...i believe anyone would feel the same but i guess no one expect that i would react that way since i could appear unassuming at times...

I consulted my sister and she advise me to set a parameter with this person and i knew exactly what to do.

I wouldn't be bother being regarded as snobbish. I have made up my mind.
Anywhere i go my life sustenance is decided by Allah and not from any feeble human being...we all are feeble so i have no fear.
If he desired to put me down. I am Not Ready To Fall.

I will reach and achieve. Come what may. I will guard my fortress.

Ramadhan Day 1

This is a journal of what i have been through this Ramadhan 2011.

On the first day i have made a full one month schedule for our Breakfast menu and dinner...yes....one whole month!..although it mostly consist of plain soup or steam or simply boiled...(no it does not include a list of spices and herbs) but honesly when you look at it, it simply about getting through the month without catching any disease and strictly on calories count.

So yesterday i went to Menggatal market....got lost...TWICE!...it was the right junction when my confidence deny me.
I've purchased 2 kilo of chicken and some carrots.

and...this is when im tested :
 
The sun is in my eye...literally i felt like i was melting in my car and the A/C does'nt work such miracle...
And then the traffic jam...oh the traffic jam. In the midst between anger and faith i thought they should closed the Bazaar in that area since it caused too much congestion...(probably the worst in KK due to Bazaar) but in the light of that little faith i started telling myself...probably the food in this Bazaar are the best!maybe there's some local cuisine that is rare to be found and only available in that Bazaar...so... i manage to quiet myself in my car (while melting...)

Thank Allah that was the only thing yesterday...my kids refuse to finish their dinner but i guess by being reasonable during that hot melting sun few hours before really did give me an emotional therapy of being receptive...or it might be because of my bland cooking???....

and so i hope...i will get through another day with challenge that i could bear...InsyaAllah.

Its Ramadhan again!

Honestly I did not 100 % anticipating it…(my way of being honest that im not that ‘perfect’)…but im totally aware of it.

In a way I feel excited because its that one month where we can get in touch with our spiritualism…by these number of elements :

• Fasting

• Withhold our self with pure patience

• Slowing down in everything we do.

• Chances of redemption even with tiny little effort.

• A sense of being closer to benevolence.

• Train our self in being receptive and non-aggressive.

• Reaching our self beyond our own measure and potential.

Other than that…I do have some selfish reason…that is Losing Weight. (miaahahahaha<-Evil Laugh) Currently im officially 47 kg, it was scary that I gained weight within two days last weekend, my tummy looks bloated but thank god my jeans still fit. And so during this Ramadhan month I am so determined (<-a manifesto that I…might betray…huhu) to lose the last 2 kg and reach my ideal weight of 45 kg….(whatever happens after that remains a mystery haha) So I have made some preparation for this fasting season including :

• Dates 

• Honey (suppose to be an excellent anti-bacteria. Read more at : http://islamic-world.net/sister/h15.htm)

• Milk (it does give me Gastric but it probably only need a little adjustment with my digestive system)

• I have arreared all my last year ‘missing’ fasting days.(all 8…Alhamdullilah)

And lastly…Gastric medicines.

This month I tried to complete the last 2 days of my missing fasting day arrears from last year and…surprisingly I was attacked by Gastric pain…it could be one of these..MANY reasons :

• Change from my messy eating habit to my diet plan by eating 4-5 little meals instead of 3 large meals.(sometimes very large…meals)

• I took milk for sahur, old wives tales says it’s the ingredient for further gastric pain when you already diagnosed having gastric sickness.

• …ruining my own diet plan by taking dinner two nights in a row….(I can’t help it! It was steamed prawn and boiled prawn the next day..served with chilli garlic!)

• Taking too much carbohydrate (rice and flour) in my diet.(We went to Pizza for dinner last Wednesday and my work colleague cooked us a marvelous Tomato Rice last Friday)

• Not chewing enough my food…usually I simply devour all my meals….(Read more at : http://www.alive.com/560a2a2.php?subject_bread_cramb=121)

See…its all my own fault T_T…and so I decided to see the doctor although I refuse in the beginning as I hated to take magnesium…it taste like you scrap it out from a limestone rock and mix it with water.

But I in the end I falter at my own stubbornness, I met the doctor and he gave me the delicious chalk juice along with pills that suppose to balance the acid in my stomach…sounds promising ^_^

So im ready!

Although the previous years I always anticipated Ramadhan because of the Bazaar every afternoon. This is the time where you could find the rare Leche Flan or the Crème Caramel…but…for that 2 Kg….i must forbid myself!

Well folks, I hope we all achieve our Nawaitu for the Ramadhan this year and hopefully we will have joyful and proud Eid ul-Fitr ^_^

were you thinking what im thinking....

Its 10:30Am at work and im......

Sleeeeeeeepppppyyyyy......

and a cup of coffee plus biscuit would be...Marvelous.

Goal=Lose weight

After some time thinking….analyzing…

I have made up my mind.

I will stop at 45Kg.

I wouldn’t look so bad at 45Kg although im not so sure if my blouses would fit on the shoulder and arms section.

I still have bulgy tummy…hopefully only seasonal hehe

But I guess 45Kg is also consisting of strong muscles and bones that support my stamina so it doesn’t seem so bad.

Before this I was thinking 43Kg, I plan to watch how far I can go but…that doesn’t sound so practical as I have a habit of eating in larger amount since born…my mum could testify on that…happily.

For a record I started these diet plans since the last week of June and it has been 2 weeks, im officially 47Kg (as per scale after morning shower and before any meal).

Next month will be the fasting season, im planning to lose that 2Kg and rest assured at 45Kg and strictly MUST not gain more than that.

Exercise plan must continue but the diet plan must change to healthier and more organic foods…milk and probably start practicing one clove of garlic per day…maybe ^_^

Im not trying to be beautiful or slimmer…im just trying to be myself and gaining weight is not myself.

I always think of myself as tenacious and active person, I’d like to go under floors and tables to take picture and I’d like to have a race with my children someday.

Mobility is my long term goal.

Fit in my blouses is my short term goal ^_^

the Plan....

i found this in the internet!

Tidak bersarapan = Metabolisma tubuh terjejas = Tubuh badan lesu = Metabolisma jatuh = NAIK BERAT BADAN.  

Literally...if our body don't 'function' that much A.K.A exercise it will makes us fatter....whoa scary bit!

I also just found out that Pineapples helps in losing weight?!...the only problem is to get a sweet: less sour fruit is a real challenge.

Also, it took 6 weeks until our diet really paid off and only ONE day to earn it back...(T_T)

So i guess the Diet plan shall go like this :

0730 - [Breakfast] 1 piece of Non-fried Kueh(black beans buns / Kek Batik / 3-4 piece of biscuits / 2 piece of crackes) with water

1030 - [Brunch] Second set of above Or only Oatmeal Drinks (Nestum with creamer)

1300 - [Lunch] Eat rice and 1 dish - (1/2  or 1/4 of what we use to take - simpler = a 24 - 36 months old infant size)

1630 - [Snack] 2 Biscuit or crackers...No Chips!...may also eat organic food such as sunflower seeds.

1830 - [Dinner] 2 slice of fruits (honeydew, papaya or sweet mango)

Strictly NO other meal after that...But....may eat various kind of nuts....seriously ^_^
The trick is to keep your metabolism running and of course please apply the above tally with an exercise schedule.

Suggested Exercise schedule below :

Monday : Push up 5 minutes, Sit up 5 minutes, Skipping 5 minutes

Wednesday :Push up 5 minutes, Sit up 5 minutes, Skipping 5 minutes

Friday:  Push up 5 minutes, Sit up 5 minutes, Skipping 5 minutes

Saturday : Zumba 1 hour plus jogging 30 minutes

The rest of the day in the week continue housework chores as usual...DO NOT HIRE A MAID OR ASK HELP....(muaahhahahaha)

Some tips :

• Expect result in 1 month and a half...(T_T)
• Don't overdo ...EVERYTHING (from the diet plan to the exercise plan)
• Buy skipping rope, a proper trainer shoes
• Do body exercise (sit ups and push ups) without any technical support....please don't use the pillow to support the back.
• DON"T GIVE UP....
• Avoid fall back into relapse of Plate of pizza for lunch, brunch with 2 piece of karipap or Roti Jala with curry,Dinner with McDonalds medium value meal(sometimes large)....or relapse of 4 hours nap in Saturday and Sunday afternoon and taking the elevator to 1st floor at work(although stairs is next to it and height between ground floor and 1st floor is less than 15 metres...)

Well...off we go and may our guts stick with us with lesser fat attach to it ^_^
All the BEST!

This Week @ Weight

Am I beginning to become purely obsessed with my weight or am I just health conscious?

I had  new pair of sports shoes last week…(which. I have not started utilizing it) I have lured my husband…yes lured…again….i continuously, diligently overpowering him with my thoughts about my weight how my new pair of blouses did not fit…how my pants might tear off and how my belly horridly flabby.

Did he bought it?....Yes.

Why?.....i spoke about it every morning and night…even over the phone while working hours.

Yes.

So yeah he bought me the shoes and I got myself a new sweat pants…(which still sits virginally in the closet …)

Just last Sunday…

He bought me a weight scale (with a monkey and scattered banana around it…yeah I dunno too)

So, here’s for your vote!

Me : Am I obsessed?

Crowd (own) : YEASSS!!!

Yes.

Now as to some question…when will I start to put the shoes and sweat pants for a show down?...i dunno…so am I just another NATO (No Action Talk Only)…I guess not.

Because I minimize my sleep down to 7 hours and I scrub the sink, fold the laundry, do the laundry, lift some books and steam iron our clothes till my sweat dripping through me eyes…GRRR…I feel like a warrior!

So again Yes.

I frequently asked my husband what would it be like at 5:45AM at our residence…is there a lot of cars going out, students waiting on bus…security on parole?...because I was thinking to go for a jog and later a shower…oh not to forget the stray dogs if they’re up for scraps of food….i wouldn’t want to end up as breakfast for them don’t I ^_^…

My husband said its still dark…so I take is as Bad.

So maybe I can go on Saturdays…which crucially depends on my husband working schedule…
at the moment I could not envision myself with the new green+white sport shoes with Black white stripes sweat pants….i hope soon though….

Leaving me with an option of doing the house chores non-stop and sleep 7 hours instead of the usual 8 hours.

Does it pay off?

Dang right it does!!!

2kg down!....yeah 2kg…ONLY?!....T_T

But…I only started this week!...so we may get result in…say like another week from now?....

As conclusion I have set my goal to 43Kg…yeas…43Kg….so will I reduce 5kg in a week?...NO (of course not unless im trying to be the cheerleader captain or trying to get a date.)

But, I like to see how far I can go…beside I sworn to myself about 10 years ago that in all my life.
I would never go on a Diet.
So here I am…drafting my Diet schedule….T__^…Life is truly an interesting journey.