Yesterday, i have just undergone a minor surgery on my left wrist to remove the cyst.
As per today ;
- sweeping the floor
- tying my hair
- taking my medicines
is such a struggle.
The lump started to appear since May 2012.
At the beginning i do not feel any kind of fear, just amaze and curious.
Later i beginning to think that it might caused by somekind of mysterious sickness related to black magic, genie and all.
I went to various doctor and they explained to me that it was Ganglion Cyst, so i went google all over it and discovered that there were 3 ways to remove it OR it can just suddenly dissapear by itself. So my options are :
- Hit it hard with a thick book (traditional method)
- Use a syringe to suck the liquid
So, rather than just waiting infinitely until its missing by itself, i opt for operation. Due to the temporary solution of the syringe and suction and the creepy thought of hitting myself with a thick large book appalls me.
But before i went to the doctors for operation, i decided to fully investigate the nature of that lump. So what i did?...i went to see a traditional islamic healing Ustaz. I know, i know...
So, as soon as i showed it to Ustaz Ikmal, he directly response to me that it was Ganglion Cyst. I feel a mix feeling of relief and ashamed haha...
However, the Ustaz did scan me for any appearance of bad or negative spirit or energy.
When finished he explained that im just rather restless and advised me to recite a calming prayers and zikir.
So instead of went home with somekind of fear, i went home from the Ustaz house with 2 designs of Kain Ela...haha, he was also selling textiles and books.
After discussion with my husband, we went to the hospital which supposedly just for a review before making preparation on surgery.
During the review, the Japanese doctor asked me if im ready to be operated on the same day. (mind you he only took about 15 minutes of medical checking before calling for operation)
That moment my biggest concern is to cut futile time waiting at hospital booth for repeatedly reviews.
So i said "yeah, sure why not!" and looked at my dazed husband whom finally nods in barely agreement.
The doctor lead me to another room and before he leave us by the waiting chair i finally asked him the most important question which is an excruciatingly the most important issue that i should have considered before i even say yes to operation.
"Doctor.." says I
"After the operation; how soon can i get back to work?" thank God, my husband reminded me of work since, i still have some pending task that very afternoon.
The doctor explained that i would need THREE days of rest. I can only blinked my eyes in a retarded way...because i've been making plans for the week for work and...i guess...without options im gonna be missed at work. Fear of discomfortness from the doctors with my sudden withdrew from the operation after preparation been made, i sit quietly, thinking of ways to explained it to my work colleagues.
When the nurse called me in, they started to make all the preparation and asked me to remove any metal and jewelry. She explained that it can cause complications when they turned on some machines to suck excessive blood during the operation..(my mouth gaped) and she quickly explained that, the condition is extremely rare but just for percaution.
Before i laid on the bed i asked her if the metal in my bra can caused a problem and she laughed, "no...not at all"...i knew i was creative.
Anyway, later when i was lying on the operation table, my heart continues to zikir but my mind wanders to the point that i would be scrolled with the operation bed to another emergency room due to surgery complications...told you i was creative.
After about 30 minutes being sooth over by listening to trivial chats among two nurses and one trainee doctor (amazingly i felt calm listening to a very casual talks just before my wrist being cut open and watching her taking a portions of anesthetic into a 3 inch long needle) the real doctor finally came. He was large and very smooth talking guy. He explained that he will cut open my wrist to remove the cyst yet, there is no quarantee that the culprit shall not come back. He manage to slip in a question if i wanted it removed. I said yes and asked him, why Ganglion Cyst ever happen and he explained that it was because when the tendon is weak ; it tends to absorb more water in order to perform better. I suddenly remembered that just before the lump appear, i wear my watch on the left wrist which originally on my right wrist ; just for a change , for a kick....see i am creative.
So i asked the doctor should i minimize the usage of my left arms and he said no point, we all need to use both hands evertime.
He procedded on pouring three kinds of liquid onto my left arm, first it was bloody color ; my sudden thought is that this is to make it less gruesome during operation since its blood color there shall be no obvious different if bloods spluttering all over my arms.Second liquid is bronze in colour and my arms started to feeling burning and the third is colorless and gave the most burning sensation.
Finally the moment of truth. The injection time.
which i sucked.
He explained that he would inject me with the anesthetic 3 times. The insertion is okay...but the exertion is slow and...vicious.
After the third he asked me if i still got my 'feel' sense while poking my wrist with a needle...of course i could still feel it.
and...he went right away to inject me...Fourth Time!
After a while i became numb and upon receiving my reply, i suppose he went right away to cut my wrist.
During the operation i did not dare to look into it because i feared that i will lose my only 20% courage (80% has gone south), but later the junior nurse start to comment.
"so that's how it look like inside huh"
the senior nurse reply " yup, thats how it looks like inside"
Then the doctor continues " yeap it is filled with water"
"wow...it looks like marble" she continues...(i was already feeling tempted to look)
"kinda pretty..."she again continues...and i finally look at it!.
I manage to get a glimpse of good ol ganglion cyst.
It looks a lot like marble and not like i imagined, it was not all covered with blood everywhere.
It just sit there round, gel-like and pink.
(which looks a lot like my Special ABC i had later at lunch..unfinished.)
The doctor struggle to cut it off and asked the nurses to hand him another operating utensils but their slow reaction and the doctors operating skills caused it to burst.
I feel dissapointed, because i thought of taking it home and could use it as pranks during April Fool. (seriously)
But then i thought, i should feel compliant towards everything that happen because there shall be a hidden wisdom in all this.
So the doctor scoops the gel from my tendon and showed it to me.
"this is the contents in your tendon all this while"
it looks a lot like my kids snots.
He proceeded to cut the tendon that has become a bag for the liquids, and showed it to me
"this is the pouch"
it looks like a molar teeth, but of course because it was all folded, white, a little blood smeared.
Then he started to prepare for stitching it, but before he started he looked up to me and says
"we're all done, its gone and look! it was only a small cut"
he lifted my arms to see.
It was gaped open,and deep red blooded inside and kinda hollow.
I let go a nervous and painful laugh.
He laughed back.
While he was stiching, the nurses (which now is 3 pax as another one enters the room bringing another patient)exchange their views on how pro the doctor skills in stiching, with one remarked how pretty it is and such a work of a cosmetic surgery doctor. They both congratulate how lucky i am and convince me that there shall be not a scar ('that we shall see i' said in my head). The doctor (maybe kinda thrilled) started to tell a story about a guy he did operation on the other day for second removal. He did it all pretty but the guy scratch it and not just scar, the cut turns out to be 'kiliod' some kind of skin issues i guess.
Occasionally the doctor exchange question with the trainee doctor who stood quietly during the whole operation.
When finished, one of the nurse insist to put a bandage on it and after some paperwork ; i was discharged.
When i came out from the operation room my husband round eyes looked at me and says how nervous he is waiting outside and imagined exactly the same thing as i did earlier on, with a robe on and scrolled on bed for another emergency operation because i might pass out and blood is everywhere....we were both creative.
We went home and the numbness on my hand remains until at about 9pm that night.
And this morning, the pain finally sets in, i passed my bandage to my daughter who insist to wear it and just had a cotton plaster on my cuts. I was given antibiotic for avoiding infection and a paracetamol for pain.
So this is how it looks like....
So this is how it looks like....
This morning...i just feel lucky.
That i didn't lose my arm or hand and...thinking about others who is not so lucky.
Im glad i still have it, and i thank God for his gift.
I learned that we should not take things for granted should be prepared for any adversity but pray for mercy.
For those who did not experienced it, i didn't expect you to care about my condition.
I just hope you would UNDERSTAND, i shall not make a video of myself getting all pucker up and duckface in tribute of granting 3 days MC and uploaded it to youtube just like the Singaporean girl with swollen eyes did; for you to believe that i actually have a condition.
Belum mengena; belum merasa
Hargai kelebihan anda dan jangan mempersenda orang lain yang kurang bernasib baik.