not dead yet ^__^

I yearn to go back into writing… and few questions popped into my mind :

have I not having any ideas?
Am I becoming lazy bone
Did I tire my audience?
Did I …lose it?

I believe if I work a little bit more in thinking surely I could find the answer…so I guess its gotta be number 2 above.

Anyway, I have not been into this blog for like 6 month now,…have I been busy?Not Really!..been out of job for 5 months certainly unfit to the description of Busy.
But yeah, I made some life and made some living…mostly living.
As in living on my husband expenses haha!...i’ve been doing  A Lot of online shopping.
Then I sew every torn clothes in the house.
I made a new room out of our storage room…^_^ that will be the top achievement throughout my jobless term of my life.

But then on February this year I decided it’s a ‘Go-Go’ time, so I filled in into the most legitimate company I know and with some confidence; get the job.

I like it ^_^…but for some reason I have to get myself out of there…I have seen :

Pure Evil (the very meaning of it)
Motherhood
Despair
Perseverance

But, above all I get my ‘knock of life’ during that February, I almost drive home…in a burning car and worst taking my friend with me…
Yeap, some wiring error and smoke comes out through the creaks of the steering wheel and smell of burning…I was cursing the car next to me when I saw the gleaming pattern of the smoke lighten by the road light…yeah!its almost poetic and dreamy!

And why did I call it the ‘knock of life’…

I manage to pull out at the right time, the right place where I almost out at the junction where there’s some tiny space where I could squeeze in my car at the parking lot.
There happens to be people on the next car, and my work colleague were just in time coming out of the office and there were 5 of them.
The gentleman on the next car knew exactly what to do and has exactly the right tools. He has pliers and a bottle of water.
My husband was in town.


That kinda wake me up a bit and I could say a sign that I have been doing something I should not been doing ; trying too hard.
Have I waited at home for the next two months I would still get the job I wanted. But I decided my decision is more important than my feeling, I made myself squeezed in a situation that im not necessary involve. Have I waited I would not hurt myself a lot in seeing corruption, dishonesty and put myself into hypocrisy.

I learnt that the hard way and deep inside my heart, I knew it’s a sign but, I don’t know a sign for which warning…so I moved on and I did suffer the most difficult part ; being alienated at worst…yet, looking back I don’t feel so hurt, because the people who had their conspiracy against me is not noble or benevolent themselves so…probably im not on the wrong side since I am not apart of their band-wagon.

But here I am.
Sitting on my own booth with cubicles, some privacy, good music and BEST of all a quiet surrounding…NO : Gossip, Slandering, Conspiracy, Evil, Hatred issues ^_^…what’s more rewarding than that!.

Yet, I will enhance my action in making sure that these comfort and peacefulness will stay as a part of my Big, Wondrous Life ^_^

I wish I could write more about my experience of my ‘Knock of Life’ but believe it or not…it’s that kind of thing that goes beyond words. It’s the kind of thing you carry most of your life and follow you every day.
The burnt spot in the car, the smell of burning, smokes…these are my sign to go back to where I came from. A reminder of who I want to be that is who I am. The promise I made and the commitment that whispering into my ear.

Im not perfect and I probably not as good as anybody else but, I have chosen to become to be who I want to be and I won’t stop just there when people jeopardize my reputation and try to kick me out or try to pull me down.

A person is more than just how they looks or how they think. A larger part of them is how they feel and these are not easy to define.

So, nobody’s perfect. Someday you see others are smarter than you and someday dumber but above all there is no certainty in life and will never be….all we able to do is cherish the moments grab the opportunity, choose happiness as an attitude and above all remember your creator…you didn’t just come pop down to earth by a tiny organism, remember the ONE that puts a living mechanism to that tiny organism. It’s not simple so if you failed to realize that then you failed in life.

Life is not just about materialistic gain it’s also about spiritual awareness. In the coming future the world will be filled by people who can earn materialism so easily, regardless the noble way or corrupted way. Until the most challenging things to achieve in life during that time will be; excel in your spiritual gain.

The world is getting older. Everything is so easy and I think we all need to challenge ourselves to do the difficult thing: Cherish GOD.

Im writing this; still does not apply me as perfect / good/ noble/ benevolent.
Im not even trying to but…im… just a sucker for adventure.^__^
And, I choose this.

So folks, wish me well and I hope such ideas will tickle your mind and we all elevate ourselves closer and higher to heaven.^_^.