I have been worried since he was 3 years old when he still could not properly talk and taking instructions. He's quite a tantrum since he was a baby and has bad case of colic and operated at 2 years old due to imbalanced testicles.
I love my son very much and were worried of him all the time, before the age of one he was diagnosed with asthma and spent a week in the hospital with water tube on his hands and legs. At night he will get the scheduled gas treatment for his asthma.
Bleak as it may seem that is not all part of the story...he was born without any risk or symptom of jaundice, he was born healthy and he looked at me in the eyes and cry his first tears in my arm.
And recently his friend from the same nursery came to our front door and asking if they could go into the house, honestly i could'nt let them in because i know the big basket of my kids toys will be all over the living room in no time. So i asked my son (behind the door) to close the door but, either :
- he ignore me,
- or refuse to follow my instruction
- or he could not bear to close the door while his friend is still keen to play toys
As always im easily agitated when it comes to being taken advantage, so i scolded my son and asked him why did he give away his toy, surely his friend will take it away. This was his answer (after some pause) :
"he just wanted to play....mummy"
with emphatic tones and facial exposure.
I was a bit taken back
- Because i learnt something from my son...that is a genuine feeling of emphaty.
- He....have empathy. Isn't that a good sign.
- I was surprised he have empathy!!.
So my son sit on the front door calling out his friend and i gave him a dialogue on what to say; with a soft and persuading voice my son call out his friend and asked for his 'Spec'(binocular) back. But the kid did not return. My son sit quietly after some time and later stood up. For a second i thought he was going to close the door and give up but instead, he put the door ajar and announce as if to whoever in the house not to close the door as he would try again to call out again his friend later. And that's exactly what he did, after taking a break of 15 minutes to watch the t.v, he continue calling out to his friend. Still not succesful he came to me and told me his friend didn't come back.
Decided that it was not his fault, i gave him a short lecture of not to easily give his property away and later asked him to close the door. So he did.
Until later we heard a knock on the door, his friend return with the binocular and they had a short chat and the kid went home saying goodbye to my son.
I started to think :
- Does my son have a kind of intuition that his friend will return his toy?
- or he simply trust his friend?
I know you all love your kids as much as i do...and my advise to myself ; it may not sunny today or tomorrow but its 365 days in a year. If life is a weather there shall be rain, storm and winter, but there is also autumn, spring, sunny and the beautiful cloudy silhouette with a touch of sun and breeze.
I love my son, love him enough to concern about his weakness, love him enough to accept it, love him enough to ensure if its good for him and love him enough to scold, scream and nag him to share with him about what i had learn in life and when he should stood his ground. As mother i wish he would not repeat my mistakes...but i must not forget either that our children is as human as i am and has their own perspective in life. At all times we let them free but never let them go astray and channel their perspective to what is benevolent because that is our promise to god once we had kids ; we shall treat them like a gift from God full of care, love, blessing, advises, trust and faith that they will not betray us parents as they will not betray their creator.
I wish not greatness for my son but simply benevolence and spiritualism in Allah in a balance order.
I never know what would my son become and i leave it in the matter of God's work but...i will not close my eyes regardless how people sees me as Mama Bear who walks gigantically protecting her cubs or a female lion that roars when her cubs need a touch of discipline.
Its some sacrifices we made as mom, being worried and being too much concern.
p/s if anyone prefer to view me in animal version then i suggest to view me as an Otter. They always travel in groups normally family relatives and will not leave the scene without their family member tag along even in intimidated situation. ^_^